Last week, I wrote about the first of two critical experiences nearly every teen needs. This week, I’m following up with the second of those experiences.
Most teens I’ve met yearn to be treated as though they are as sophisticated as adults without losing sight of their relative proximity to childhood. Young adults are simultaneously hurtling towards adulthood while feeling terrified that they’ve left childhood behind for good. The responsible adults in teens’ lives are left walking a tightrope between those distinct life experiences. I navigate this potentially challenging intersection by communicating with teens with as much sophistication and respect as I afford my adult friends while finding ways to remind teens that I know they are still kids, and that they get to continue to enjoy the emotional safety of childhood for a little bit longer.* Here are a few ideas for ways parents can tap into their teen’s childhood experiences:
offer to rub their back as they fall asleep
make their favorite childhood breakfast
do a chore they have long since taken over for themselves
play a childhood game together
Whatever you do, engage your teen as you brainstorm. Doing so will bring you closer together and it might even surprise you.
* Emotional safety isn’t the same as freedom from responsibility; the development of life skills and responsible decision-making are critical components of development, and both should be practiced and honed throughout childhood. The goal is to raise adults, not emotional children trapped in adult bodies and minds!